A Little About Me(L) 2006
In the beginning....(I think that's how it starts.... oh! Wrong story, sorry). I am a bastard child. I was conceived in the backseat of a car. Now that's an original beginning for a story, eh? My mother and grandparents raised me, and my father visits every other weekend. Sounds semi-normal, right? Well... lets switch it up a bit, and go a little deeper than the outside appearance. It was more like... my grandparents raised my mother and I. My mom is bipolar, and had mild symptoms of schizophrenia when I was younger. I understood a lot of things at a young age. I regret nothing in my life.... And I can honestly say I was one of the luckiest children alive to have such a wonderful family. In kindergarten I was far from being a normal child. I had a bowl cut, and a strong hatred for the color pink... I guess that sorta came coupled with my tendencies to get into fights with the boys. No one ever knew... I mean, what boy in elementary school is going to admit to being beat up by a girl? Exactly.So... I went through my childhood years as a tomboy. I absolutely loved it when older women would mistakenly say to my mother "you're little boy has such cute beautiful blue eyes." Hey, not only did i look like a boy, but a CUTE boy. I loathed the thought of hitting puberty, and swore that I'd somehow convince my body to skip over it. That didn't happen. The boobs spurted, and so did the acne... then to make matters even more interesting, I got braces and glasses. I was the ultimate dork, and was totally oblivious to it. High school came on like a nightmare. I was a fucking ALIEN in that place. I wasn't self conscious... prolly hadn't looked in the mirror for a few years... or maybe try 13. Then came the girl police who turned me into their new project, and girly-fied me for fun. Then ditched me soon after completion. They turned me into a damn barbie doll.I was materialistic, self conscious, and quite a loner.Then came the hot topic phase. I know, what a flying leap. Went from looking like bimbo number 5 to looking as though I could be the next Avril. It was nice to know I was moving up in the world (That was my invisible sarcasm font, just in case you couldn't see it)Soon, things changed. I really can't look back and say there was any specific or defined moment in my life... it all came with heartbreak, healing, and time. Lots of blood sweat and tears.Soon after going through a good dozen phases (and a bad relationship to go with each one) before my junior year, I just stopped. I stopped putting up this image for people and began to focus on the things in life that mattered most. All the small things that many people, including myself, had taken for granted. They are, and always have been what made the difference between good and bad in my life. They just subtly worked wonders underneath the cluster of things that really didn't matter in the end. A lot of the time people complain about the bad days... but really, in the big picture, good days wouldn't exist without them. You can't appreciate a sunny day without a few rainy ones in between. Otherwise, it would just be another day. So, always look back on the fallen rain. Dance in it and be happy that it fell... because without it, your sunny day may not be as bright.HEY! YOU! YEAH, YOU SLEEPIN ON THE KEYBOARD! Yeh, just wanted to let you know I'm done now.. you can wake up. Hope you had a nice nap. Yeah, just please.. next time don't drool on keyboard? It would be appreciated.
12:48 PM
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